non-binary gender dysphoria… let’s talk about it

non-binary gender dysphoria… let’s talk about it | Black Trans Spirituality

Aug 2024 04

Dysphoria is a b*tch. Come and chat as we navigate a very binary world. I talk through some definitions, my experiences, and how that shows up in my spiritual life.

Connect with me on insta: @mavmagick

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#nonbinary #genderdysphoria #transgender #spiritual #personaldevelopment #genderqueer #selfhelp #non-binary #spirituality #consciousness #awareness #manifest #selfimprovement #trans #queer #ftm #tfn #ftx #enby #black #Haitian #Africanspirituality

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@emraphael571

2 years ago -@

i love that you mentioned the difficulty that comes with feeling different levels of dysphoria at different times. i’m also very curvy and it causes me a lot of discomfort sometimes, but sometimes i also love being soft. the changing nature of that makes it difficult for me to know what to pursue transition-wise, and i’m really glad to hear another person experiencing it.

@zeliosorchid

I love this, so relatable!

@frontierflyer

You are soooo gorgeous and I love your voice! I heard you struggling to describe what it’s like, but you did so fantastic explaining! I’ve tried and tried to tell close friends what it’s like, but I just couldn’t. It’s like trying to explain the color red to a blind person. Thank you so much for speaking your truth and being vulnerable! ❤❤❤

@sawgerrera5754

Very interesting

@--legion

This absurd 'non-binary' fiction is merely sniffing the backside of political correctness and feeding the need to identify with something – anything – that immature young folk crave for. As to gender, there is only masculinity and femininity – all of us have more of one than the other, but that doesn't automatically create new genders like pulling rabbits out of a hat.

@wendys_lemonade2459

you are so mindful in such a good way. I love how you explain all of it— I experience occasional chest dysphoria too and MAN can it consume you. I really appreciate you, and I appreciate that you also like mindfulness, it makes me want to get back into it. 🙂

@nikk6435

I love this format, and it is so relatable. my chest is also an issue for me, I guess I’m experiencing genderfluidity and afab chest is a body part that is so difficult to navigate. like sometimes having one makes me feel… sexy? but even though it is great, feeling that way is just a tiny part of my life that I want to experience only on an occasion. By the most part my chest gives me dysphoria.

I’m curious, do you meditate on a certain thought or a sensation? I’m interested in learning how to use meditation practice for gender dysphoria but not sure how to approach it.

@yafreisisegura9948

This was very beautiful and insightful. Thank you for sharing your experience. It brought me so much peace of mind and hope.

@dreaminbronze9189

🙄It's not that "deep". Dysphoria is a term shamefully co-opted from the very minute group of Trans people [suffering a mental health condition]. Non-binarism particularly in FEMALES is simply a re-packaged way to repel misogyny we experience for being born in a female body (yes, gender stereotypes are oppressive & must be dismantled). The only difference between being "non-binary" & having a CONSCIOUS GLOBAL FEMINISM is that females of this era LOSE by adopting non-binary rhetoric. **Roe vs. Wade was reversed cuzthis new brand of "Non-Woman" are so far disassociated from being female & are focusing their energy in the wrong direction [injecting testosterone & getting top surgery]**.

#10

@angelav4401

Love this video! And your voice is so pleasant and soothing 💖 Thank you so much for sharing!

#11

@leslieminkler7748

Just yesterday I was called “sir” and “ma’m” about 20 minutes apart.

#12

@bunnysunny27

I was tearing up as I listened to your story. So many of your experiences resonated with mine, especially as I started practicing mindfulness!
I have a wall of “I am” affirmations that I read through each time I do my testosterone injection; it helps!

#13

@rupphirestar3504

the way this video made me cry, because a lot of what you said just hit the nail for me, firstly even just the description of non-binary dysphoria, often the word dysphoria would make me feel like i was co-opting that from binary trans identity. for me i still currently struggle with that not trans enough feeling, of feeling like i am not real, often because the ways i tend to have dysphoria is differently from other binary trans folks dysphoria. often i worry about that i am not doing enough to perform non-binary performance & that inner negative self talk of "that's cuz you woman pretending" like pops up.

growing up black & fat, i often experienced a level of degendering, where the dysphoria i experience made me feel more like an "it" and not the opposite sex, i often had the social message relayed to me that i wasn't performing womanhood or girlhood properly, i wasn't lady like, but i also wasn't a tomboy, which to me translated to feeling this intense internalized feeling of grossness & disgusting.

and as i got older thing like mental health & like undiagnosed adhd, impacted me which also added towards the ways i experienced dysphoria, (side note thank you for the phrase social dysphoria, i havent heard that used & when you said it, it just clicked like yes, it me)

for me non-binary dysphoria was framed as a failure to not adhere to cis performance of womanhood, my fatness meant that growing up (90s baby here) that say wearing the femme clothes that i wanted often didn't fit me, & not being able to like signal i was femme in my clothing cuz its not made in your size made me feel ostracized.

other things were my personality, i enjoyed being brash, being vulgar, not being a lady, in fact a lot of the lady like traits i was told i should be just made me like really angry or like very unseen.

at some point i ended up getting the message that not feeling present in my body, not feeling conscious of how i existed in my body was the way to be. & your video really just touched & affirmed a lot of things to me just now.

that i don't actually enjoy living that way, i don't want to continue being that way, that i do long for affirmation in my identity & wanting to be seen doesnt mean it invalidates me being non-binary, and enjoying femme things.

sorry this comment is so long, but you described so many things that i thought i was alone in feeling, & thank you for that. i walk away from this video with the desire to want to be affirmed, & wanting it on my own terms in ways that matter & center me & thank you for sharing.

#14

@GRIMSREVENGE253

😳- anybody else confused as all shit? …………..GRIM

#15

@lx9037

Being non-binary feels central to every trans person. I feel like whether non-binary or binary. Every trans person experiences this in the middle feeling. I know trans women experience this as well as trans men. And frankly that feels so comforting.

#16

@tysunambres3160

Love your vids! I do the same content on my TikTok! I'm Two-Spirited TransMasculine 🙂

#17

@trevthereal

ty so much for sharing. your voice & the background music is so calming

#18

@thunderstrum645

I'm still having a difficult time figuring things out with my gender identity, but this helped so much. Thank you so so much for bringing this up to help me understand a little bit more about this kind of stuff❤

#19

@madusername

This has been so difficult for me to put into words, thank you for sharing this

#20

@cyanobacteria2.0

Finally it feels like somebody can comprehend how I feel!!! This is a little out there but I feel as if I am nonbinary. But here's the thing, in my case I present very femininely so socially I am percieved as a cisgender female/woman. It makes me upset when people think that because I am feminine and female that it invalidates my nonbinary and prefer they/them pronouns. Like "nonbinary" to me isn't particulary about an external gender expression but rather how an individual expresses what they want to be referred to as in terms of name and pronouns. When it comes to dysphoria, social dysphoria is one of the main triggers for me. Similar to what you said, it's uncomfortable to be socially perceived in a way that isn't how you feel internally. However I feel powerless to my dysphoria because I don't feel like I am male and I have no desire to transition medically. I awkwardly just wish that my outside vessel/body was an accurate representation of how I feel on the inside. But then again I have experienced many people self projecting onto me too so that probably has an influence. But also with doing inner work within myself I can't really say dysphoria isn't at the root of all the affliction I feel within myself because I do have other aspects like depression, anxiety which do impact the way I socially interact and how I interpret those interactions.

#21

@mikadoavocado5164

thank you so much for this. I feel less alone with my dysphoric feelings now. also i love your voice. and I love your thoughts on meditation because it can actually help to calm your mind especially if medical options aren‘t accessible for you or you‘re trying to figure things out

#22

@theblackbisexual

Ok so you don’t know me but how did you just explain my whole issue with gender and my body with such a calming tone? Excuse me…. This video is so relatable. 😭 thank you so much.

#23

@izkoism

You have a bright and wise soul! Thank you for your words and your presence.

#24

@VitaInDC

I've watched all your videos, and think you should wait two or three before any surgeries (currently scheduled in December). You don't have to mutilate and have a doc cut off your breasts to "be yourself". I don't know who taught you indirectly to be ashamed or repulsed by your feminine characteristics, or if you were sexually abused or witnessed domestic violence when younger. If so, that was their evil, and I think you were a powerless child or teen and got the wrong message that female equals weakness or stupidity or whatever.

Ask yourself this: if you had to live on a beautiful island with a really nice dog, and you had NO contact with the outside world or Internet, YT, social media or phone for 5 years, and you had no mirror, would how your body looks matter? There would be no one to validate or reject your thoughts or ideas about your body, and you'd be free to think about other things. This would be good b/c this gender stuff seems to be consuming your mind. This is scary b/c it's not something that can be undone, and nearly everyone is afraid to criticize or even say, hey, slow down, you're already beautiful inside and don't need all this crazy surgery & hormones to be happy or loved. You can continue to be totally LBGTQ with the healthy body you were gifted with at birth.

And FYI, no one really cares about how you or others look except teens and shallow people. Mentally healthy people like others for who they are inside, not their gender or race, etc. If your breasts are so large they hurt your back, then just get a simple reduction down to a B or C cup. I worry too about your testosterone treatments. Has it ever occurred to you that having a child one day would bring you unimaginable joy? Or that the extra testosterone could lead to cancer ovarian cancer, premature baldness, and heart disease. It pains me to see what you're about to put yourself through and I hope you change your mind, unlike the echo chamber of confused young people on YT and social media who treat this like a reversible fad. Well, that's all I have to say, and I say with concern as a black woman, caring and old enough to be your grandmother. So please slow down, there's just no rush, and whoever is egging you on to do this might secretly be jealous of you or hate you. Take care.

#25

HERU