Alan Watts on The Most Fundamental Human Desire | To Love and Be Loved
By midlife, many discover that love is not the fairytale they once believed. This video reveals a truth that shakes the foundations of our longing: the greatest human desire is not to be loved, but to love freely, without bargain or demand.
In this talk, he strips away the illusions, exposing why so much of what we call “love” is merely a transaction in disguise, and how true connection can only flow from a heart already whole.
It is a challenge to see yourself honestly, to stop begging for love, and to begin living from the abundance already within you.
If this struck a chord, share it with someone who still believes love must be earned.
What’s your own experience of love’s illusions? Tell your story in the comments
#Alanwatts #love #fundamental #alanwattsinspired #alanwattsinspires #philosophyforlife #selfgrowth #desire
Inspiration from: Alan Watts
This content is shaped in the spirit of Alan Watts — not to teach in the traditional sense, but to awaken something you already know deep down. Rooted in his explorations of consciousness, illusion, and the eternal now, our aim is to offer perspectives that dissolve the false walls between self and world.
Rather than lead you to conclusions, we invite you to see that you were never truly separate from the dance of life, that what you seek is already what you are. Alan often said the task is not to improve yourself, but to realize there’s no self to improve. And so, with that spirit, we share words that may feel less like instruction and more like waking from a dream.
If, through this offering, you find yourself laughing at the seriousness of life, or suddenly aware of the great cosmic joke that you are the universe playing a game of hide and seek with itself, then we’ve done our job.
About Alan:
Alan Watts (1915–1973) was a British philosopher, speaker, and writer best known for translating Eastern philosophy into a language the modern Western mind could understand. With wit, wisdom, and a glass of whiskey in hand, he brought Zen, Taoism, and Vedanta to the kitchen table — showing us that life isn’t a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced like music: playfully, reverently, and fully.
You can explore more of Alan’s work here:
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DISCLAIMER 03: This channel is not officially affiliated with Alan Watts or his estate. The content presented is inspired by Alan Watts’ teachings and philosophy, shared with the intent to motivate, inspire, and support personal growth. The voice used is a synthesized voice and does not belong to Alan Watts. Our goal is to respectfully share his timeless insights in an inspiring way, with no intention to deceive or misrepresent. All opinions and interpretations expressed are solely those of the creator and do not represent the official views of Alan Watts or his family. For a deeper understanding of his work, please refer to his original writings and recordings.
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In Morocco I was proposed marriage twice, shortly after we had met. it is a transaction
It's nearly ironic how wrong some aspects of these teachings actually are.
I have faced myself to nearly every knowable contract I've ever held. Yet I never find anyone of that same depth. It's not resentment. It's sadness.
I do not mind meeting people. I do not mind giving others witness they likely don't get from anyone else. I do my best to fill myself as I can.
Yet there are still moments of profound hollowness. It has been 6 years since I've had any intimacy at all. I barely ever get so much as touched. It has been months since the last time someone even shook my hand.
I am not even dead yet, and most of those who used to know me have already uttered my name for the last time.
Most don't even know I exist. Even those closest are unusually absent for me. Where I have only my brother who talks out of neccesity to me, and my mother who only ever says 4 words about me while speaking with my brother, almost never to me directly. Which she only does out of obligation.
My therapist doesn't want to be around me. She is disgusted by me but won't admit it to herself. So she's waiting on me to do it for her.
The "job hunting assistant" has nothing to say to me at all. The case manager they've assigned me 3 separate times has failed every single iteration to so much as even text me.
I am as near dead to this place as one could be. And I am still not resentful. I hurt.
And nothing I do ever seems to stop it. At what point do I accept the fact that it is just me?
I've never heard of someone being treated this sort of way before. Living the cruelty I have since birth. This place should have broken me countless times, yet I still try.
Because I refuse nihilism. I refuse to sit and mourn a reality that never cared for me. I know the absurdity of it. I am not ashamed of that.
Yet I find every single promise that life will meet you as you are, is all a lie.
And even then, I still can't help myself. I can't help but to believe and love others without any regard for my sorrow. I would no more withdraw my witness to anyone who willed to talk than I could stop my heart from pumping.
Yet life does not meet me here. Not ever.
Why doesn't God want me? Why doesn't life want me?
When I first met my wife, we went on our first date and we barely spoke to each other. We had a casual, familial chemistry imidiately. I felt like I had known her for years, like old friends reuniting. I'm not trying to brag or anything, merely stating that what Allan is saying is true…. I am truly blessed to have stumbled onto the same conclusions by blind luck. I met her by total chance on a dating app, not even asking for a date, just somebody to chill with because it was Saturday and my buddy was working. Sometimes an utter lack of expectation yeilds rewards that no amount of effort or planning or overthinking ever will.
This my first time listening to him. Truly great piece.
Alan Watts beautifully explains that at the core of every human being is a simple longing: to feel connected through love
"The voice used is a synthesized voice and does not belong to Alan Watts. Our goal is to respectfully share his timeless insights in an inspiring way, with no intention to deceive or misrepresent. All opinions and interpretations expressed are solely those of the creator and do not represent the official views of Alan Watts"
(disclaimer n 3 in the description of the video)
What society, Hollywood, entertainment industry, etc. has sold us isn't love: it's fantasty, limerance, obsession and even addiction. That's something I learned by the time I turned 30. As RuPaul once said "If you can't love yourself how in the HELL are you gonna love somebody else?!"
This is beautiful. I wish I had heard this in my 20s, instead of learning it and concluding it in my 30s. At 41, I assure you this is life-changing if understood.
How cynical. No, thanks.
True love is about giving, not taking.
This is a synthesized voice- so says the info of this video
Please what’s the name of this soundtrack
Enjoy the moment
Nothing is promised.
That simple.
Allan Watts’ voice and your visuals blend wonderfully.
It would be reasonable to start with definition of so- called love
The true is that people never learn to love them self
All of this based on the presumption that love is needed. Our species does not require love, I would argue that it's our fear that makes us couple the way we do, not our "desire" for love. I would further argue that 100% of humanity is completely wrong about what love is, even what it's "supposed" to be, if indeed it's "supposed" to be anything at all.
God love you allan watts ❤
Anyone know what lecture this is from?
Love to me is an empty word people say but rarely, if ever, mean.
This message hits deeply: no matter who we become, the desire for love is the one thing that never leaves us
Anakin never would have become Vader if he had listened to this. Haha
True story
This may have just saved my mental state. Thank you Watt
I can understand it but much more difficult to accept it long after the break up…but am getting there and trussing self moment by moment.
I feel like I need to hear this but I am too stupid to understand the words he uses. Eloquent speaker
God dammit i fucking hate the stupid music. Let us enjoy watt’s greatness without sentimental music telling us how to feel.
I fell complete when I love myself more ❤
10:14 this brought me so much sorrowful joy to sit with
I don't believe such a love can exist in this world
Even the 'Being' that we come from, demands love, respect, fear and submission in return
I didn’t need another video or quote — I needed a mirror. That’s what Manifest the Divine by Elena River felt like. Just me, my notebook, and the truth. Helped a lot more than I expected. And now I’ve got more income, a better sleep routine, and real momentum.
The first time I actually believed in manifestation was halfway through Manifest the Divine by Elena River. The prompts helped me uncover stuff I didn’t even realize I wanted. Game changer. I swear, my new job literally showed up two weeks after I got that clarity.
Been doing manifestation for years but never felt connected to it until I got serious with journaling. Manifest the Divine by Elena River kinda became my morning ritual and I’m not even that structured normally. I ended up manifesting a new partner and a calmer lifestyle in less than two months.
Tried meditations, affirmations, all of it — nothing stuck until I started putting pen to paper with Manifest the Divine by Elena River. Felt more like self-discovery than manifestation tbh. Now I’ve got way more clarity and finally bought that car I wanted.
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It’s weird how just writing a few pages each day can unlock so much clarity. Manifest the Divine by Elena River helped me get out of autopilot and into actual intention. I’ve been manifesting small wins weekly since I started, including a better-paying side gig.
I don’t know, I agree totally with this. I believe in God, and God is love and I always understood myself as a beloved one. Still, at least in my experience, the desire to be loved by people will never cease. To be human means to want to be loved by another human. Even with the full package of Gods love/self-love/universal love there is still a gap in my heart that can be filled only by another human. You maybe know this quote “we all have an emptiness in heart which can be filled only by God”. Totally agree I just say that we also have an emptiness that even God cannot fill. I think we were designed in this way that we need both a relationship to God and to another human being
This mentality has done nothing but love my wife even more. I don't deserve such a magnificent woman.
Thank you❤
Brutally honest but beautiful.