Members get 6+ hours of live content from Dr. K and other clinicians every month, plus quests to apply their learnings IRL, and other perks. Not a member yet? Join the fun:
▼ Timestamps ▼
────────────
00:00 – Introduction
00:58 – What is desire?
03:41 – How do we fix it?
06:11 – The nature of happiness
10:16 – Gratitude
12:43 – Stance shifting
16:19 – The size of desire
────────────
Explore the research that goes into our videos:
We offer tons of mental wellness resources to help you get your life on track. Learn more:
Dr. K wrote a book called “How to Raise a Healthy Gamer,” available now:
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counselling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer coaches, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation’s emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
source
If you appreciated this video, you might also be interested in the VOD of the 2.5 hr "Understanding Desire" livestream our members got last week! You can learn more about memberships at https://memberships.healthygamer.gg/ 💚
I want soup
You make these concepts so easy to understand. Thank you💚💚
Thank you for making the video.💚💚
"Extend the state of having (reflect)"
14:39 got called out on spending money on steam sale😢
It's not happiness that triggers desire tho right? It's the survival mechanism we've genetically instilled. For example lust/sex = reproduction. Or hunger/craving for food = calories to survive etc.
Understandable misunderstanding on your part Dr K…with all due respect, you've confused happiness with satisfaction. They're, albeit subtlety, different modes of being. Valuable take nonetheless👍🏼
You’re wrong. Every trait comes with both a blessing and a curse — it’s a package deal. When you pursue your passions, you’ll often experience fewer moments of happiness, for the reasons you mentioned, but you’ll actually achieve more, because it makes you ambitious. If you choose to lock away your passions and focus more on what you already have, you’ll achieve much less in life, but you’ll be happier. There’s no middle ground. Everyone chooses the price they’re willing to pay
Thank you Dr.K for this ❤. I am grateful about being a subscriber of yours and your videos help me big time to go through thick and thins.
great stuff
omg what the fuck was that? I need a moment
I’m beyond thankful for stumbling across this video, thank you so much
"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor"
– Seneca.
Stoicism is often misquoted as being a philosophy for the narcissists. It is not. Stoicism is a philosophy for self improvement, because the better you understand yourself, the better you understand others and the more content you become with yourself. As you become more content with yourself, your empathy for others grows as well and you become more capable of forming and sustaining healthy, long lasting relationships with everyone around you, but you must accept to challenge your view of yourself each time you get offended by a stoic piece of literature. You must ask yourself "_why_ did this offend me. Why is this bothering me" why, why, why. Because the reason you end up realizing, is the problem that's keeping you from enlightenment. Solve that problem, fix that aspect of yourself and you are one step closer.
I'm in my early 30's, the desire of me getting a woman in my life is insane, but I don't feel lonely, nor just lust, I am working very hard in my job and currently doing something new and exciting, but I cannot get out of my head to settle down with a woman and have a meaningful relationship. I know I must work first on my things beforehand.
Shifting having
Brian Williams Means me Then they will send this to everybody else individually I heard your talking s***
I am grateful for this video. I like the first principles thinking of the basuc needs in life that the society overlooks. Everyone just wants to talk about career jobs and relationship but my man out here fixing my depression with a 15 min video thamks a lot dr.K
~a stressed indian kid
This is a great content, thanks dr. K
so a simple note:
V is the pulling power of those you want and have.
V_desire/wanting: 60
V_having: 30
but, if you pay attention asymmetrically:
A_desire/wanting: 20
A_having: 70
Overall, the effective pull P would be,
P_desire/wanting = V_desire x A_desire = 120
P_having = V_having x A_having = 210
So, with more pull towards having, you feel more content, more happy, and feel better. This keeps you resilient, strong and be able to work towards what you want. So, pay attention to what you have more.
WOW!!!!
HG for president
I struggle to apply this to the desire "to chill" I am just happy when I chill and it's just as good as the first time of chilling. I can't relate to any of the examples, does this just not apply in this way?
I eliminate my desires through the lens of practicality. My tools are usually asubha bhavana, foreseeing the emptiness that comes with attaining the want, or minding the insignificance or frivolity or quixoticness of a thing.
Hmm he has all the best video game consoles but does he also drive a Mclaren and is married to WOWZA hot twitch streamer Hyoon?! I can understand him being grumpy if he doesn't drive that car and plook that woman! 💩